In a flash, all your friends are gone.
One second they were there, all of them, and now you fucked up and vamoose, no more friends.
But that’s only if you’re a dumbass like me and just deleted your entire AIM buddy list. Fuckity fuck shit fuck. I must’ve been working on that thing for years. It was a finally attuned list of people I’d need access to at any given time for any number of reasons. People who are good reference sources. People who know if something’s going on tonight. People who know if stuff is due tommorrow. People to whom I can tell my deepest, darkest secrets. People who are Alecia, which is just kind of a reason in itself.
I thought I was deleting just one person, someone I don’t remember why I added them in the first place, don’t even remember who they are, and I didn’t stop to read the box that said “ARE YOU REALLY SURE YOU WANT TO DELETE EVERY SINGLE SCREENNAME HERE, DUMBASS? IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU WANT?” and click, anyone categorized under the incredibly specific and elite heading of “Buddies” was gone. “Co-workers” is still there. And still empty as the day I downloaded AIM all those many years ago.
Maybe someone’s telling me something. Maybe this is my chance to turn over a new life. Start anew. Only after disaster can we be reborn…like that movie with Ed Norton and Brad Pitt. You know. 3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain, I believe it was called. Now’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to re-evaluate who really matters to me. Gone are the petty aquaintances and superficial “friends.” In their place, my true blue compadres, and any petty aquaintance that has given me five bucks in exchange for a spot on the exclusive list of people I need to be able to send text and emoticons to instantaneously, day or night.
Or maybe someone’s telling me I need to go to bed.
Yes, that could be it.
Semi-related 3 Ninjas note: No matter what the gender of my future children, I am naming them Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum. Any babymother that disagrees with me had best to get her head right before she winds up in divorce court.